Traditional Gender Roles

If you ask me what a typical gender role is I would think of something like doing the laundry, yard work, cooking, taking care of the cars or caring for children. When my husband and I got married we jokingly agreed he would take care of the outside and I would take care of the inside. However as I have found, there is a lot more work to be done on a regular basis then the yard and the cars (at least in my family, my husband does not work outside daily however we both pick up every day). One of my frustrations, and he knows this, is when I do the laundry, I do everyone’s laundry. This means all five family members. I will ask him to “process” the laundry which to me means move it from the washer to the dryer and then lay it out on the couch in order to be folded and hung up. My husband often dumps it on the couch in a ball and either walks away or folds his. So the other day we went on a date. During our date I brought up the ongoing laundry issue and he asked me to post on facebook how many husbands do laundry and those that do, what do they do. So I did. What did I find? To me it appears the women who had longer marriages that spoke up stated they never declared “gender roles” but they always did whatever needed to be done together. There were a group of men that help out with the laundry but there was also a large group of my friends that did not respond. This leads me to believe it is a all of the above. Some husbands do laundry, some do not, some only do their own, some do it when their wives ask. Personally, in my marriage I would like to see my husband be a little more observant of when I need help and do it on his own. I hope as we grow in our marriage we will fall in the footsteps of marriages before us and just do what needs to be done, not fall in a specific role. But with that being said, I need to help out, outside more. (Right now my husband is working on my car as the door has stopped locking. He is so incredibly intelligent and I am so blessed to have him. Very thankful that he takes the initiative to fix things.) Ultimately we are a great team. And watch out Cook kids because once you turn 8 years old, you will be working on doing your own laundry.

Oh and for the foodies out there that are still reading my blog for awesome food options, if you have not gone to Velvet Taco on West 7th and Montomery in Fort Worth, you are missing out!  I have been three times in the last three weeks.  It is THAT good.  Matt and I went on our date on the night I was discussing laundry.  Basically they make traditional plates inside tortillas.  For example, a picnic lunch, a cuban sandwich, a burger, hot wings or fish and chips.  The night Matt and I went last week we had a mediterranean taco with fried calmari, feta cheese, olive tapenade and a cream sauce.  Ah-mazing!  We also got the picnic chicken (which I had, had before) and a buffalo chicken.  Then last night we went again with some friends and tried a few new ones.  I got the fried oyster which had remoulade sauce, corn relish, oh my it was awesome.  I scarfed it down so quick, Matt did not even get a taste.  After Velvet Taco we went to Tillmans for tableside s’mores.  Definitley an ongoing favorite.  It is all homemade (chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows).  They change them out seasonally and we had java, maple and strawberry.  Very tasty.  We were stuffed.

 

Gender Roles

While working on my Master’s Degree in Family Studies, my favorite theory has been the social learning theory.  Basically this states we do what we are taught.  In our text it explains there is a social learning theory that relates to gender.  Essentially it states we believe what we do about gender because of what we are taught.  This relates to the roles we fulfill in our relationships and how we define ourselves based on our sex.

If you have paid attention at all to this past week in the NFL, you know several players have been arrested, suspended, and/or indicted.  Specifically speaking of the cases of Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson.  Now before I continue let me say I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH HOW THEY TREATED THEIR SPOUSE (in Rice’s case) AND THEIR SON (in Peterson’s case) and if the details of the offenses are true, they deserve in my opinion to be punished accordingly.  However, if the social learning theory is true this is such a bigger issue than Ray RIce and Adrian Peterson.  It is a systems issue that they were some where along the way taught that is how you treat a child or that is how you treat your spouse.  Could it be Ray Rice was taught that is how men handle their business?  Could Adrian Peterson have been taught that is the father’s right and responsibility? I think until we as a society change our perception of what is appropriate behavior and model that for our children, more of the sad situations will happen.