Boy toys vs. girl toys

Yesterday I was at a birthday party for a one year old girl.  Her brother and my son are in Jackson’s words, best buddies however yesterday they were having some trouble sharing when they started opening up her presents.  She was given a Minnie Mouse vacuum cleaner and the three boys around her, brother, cousin and my son, all between ages 18 months and 3 were fighting over this vacuum cleaner.  I do think a majority of the reason behind this was because it made cool noises that you heard with just a push of a button but this toy was all the rage.  I finally said to my son he did not want to play with it because it was a baby toy and it was a girl toy.  (Now disclaimer, I do not care what toys my kids play with.  I was mostly trying to get him focused on something else as the smaller kids were enjoying the toy.) My best friend who also keeps my boys in daycare says to me he does not know what the difference in boy and girl toys are.  To which I told her, you would be surprised of what this three year old knows.  I explained that the cover of my Gender Roles textbook has pictures of a “girl room” covered in pink and Hello Kitty and another picture of a “boy room” covered in blues, trucks and super heroes.  I went on to tell her that every time he sees me reading this book he states the “girl room” is for his sister and the “boy room” is for her.  He also asked me today as we were talking about coming to the party what kind it would be.  I told him I did not know and his answer is it would probably be Barbie, believing in his little brain that Barbies are for girls.  It is amazing to me that at three he already knows such things when we have not really taught this at home.

 

Disney Princesses

If you break down Disney movies, they are filled with negative views for both genders.  We are taught a man is supposed to ride in on a horse and save the damsel in distress.  We are taught all men are romantic.  We are taught the couple lives happily ever after.  These common opinions about Disney movies have been around forever.  I have had my opinions and because of them have not paraded these movies in front of my children.  If they want to watch them great, but they are encouraged to watch other things as well, play outside with the basketball, paint pictures, etc.  But then today someone posted an article on Facebook that just sent me through the roof.  The title is What Disney Princesses would look like with Realistic Waistlines.  Someone went in and redid the waist lines of Pocohontas, Ariel, Jasmine, and Elsa to make them more realistic and you know what, they look great.  We live in a world where pretty much every woman I have ever met has or has had some sort of body image issue.  When I was in high school I was a size six but my best friend was a four so I thought I was fat.  I would kill to be a size six now!  I digress, children soak everything in!  Just today we were watching the trailer for Fast and the Furious 7, a guilty pleasure of mine.  I had seen the beginning of the trailer so I did not think it was a big deal if my three year old boy saw the car racing but then it changed to introducing the bad guy.  My three year old says to me, mom he is the bad guy, I am good guy?  At THREE YEARS OLD, he can pick out who the good and bad guy are in a movie (and this was not completely evident in the trailer).  If my three year old can do that I can absolutely believe my seven year old daughter sees the pictures of the Disney princessess and notices their waist size just like she notices their hair color or eye color.  At seven years old she might not think she is less than but I can guarantee those messages she learns now will affect her body image when she is 13 years old.  We have got to do something about this.  However this is a huge issue.  It completely ties in with strip clubs, football players or former coaches endorsing restaurants like Hooters, and photoshopping.  Most women do not have a size two waistline with size 42 DD bust.  We need to start somewhere and I think it begins with having a strong, independent woman who is a size eight and wears it well.

To read the article please follow this link…http://hellogiggles.com/disney-princesses-look-like-realistic-waistlines

 

The Back-Up Parent vs. The Default Parent

I read an article a friend posted on Facebook that questioned whether you are the default parent or the back-up parent.  At first I thought of my husband and became defensive for him.  Often in blended parent situations the father doesn’t get the opportunity to be the default parent.  We aren’t around for the spelling words, the shuffling to soccer practice, the lunch makings, etc.  So naturally he is the back-up parent.  But then I thought about our home.  I don’t give him much opportunity to be the default parent either.  I don’t think I do this consciously, nor does he.  I think these roles are just biologically in us.  The female is the nurturer and, typically, the male is the provider.  With these roles come natural tendencies and responsibilities.  I keep the calendar, I make the lunches, although I typically shuffle the kids from this to that, and I work a 40-hour job as well.  In our marriage, we share a majority of the responsibilities.  I cook and he cleans the dishes.  He bathes the kids and I get them dressed for bed.  I do think I am naturally the default parent, but someone has to be.  In every situation, you have to have someone take that responsibility.

And just a little side note … I am so over (and I am just as guilty) women complaining of all they do.  This was your choice when you had kids!  I am over the stay-at-home mom debate versus the working mom debate.  We all just do what is best for our family.  Neither is better or right.  It is what works for you.

To read the article, check out this link.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/the-default-parent_b_6031128.html