I read an article a friend posted on Facebook that questioned whether you are the default parent or the back-up parent. At first I thought of my husband and became defensive for him. Often in blended parent situations the father doesn’t get the opportunity to be the default parent. We aren’t around for the spelling words, the shuffling to soccer practice, the lunch makings, etc. So naturally he is the back-up parent. But then I thought about our home. I don’t give him much opportunity to be the default parent either. I don’t think I do this consciously, nor does he. I think these roles are just biologically in us. The female is the nurturer and, typically, the male is the provider. With these roles come natural tendencies and responsibilities. I keep the calendar, I make the lunches, although I typically shuffle the kids from this to that, and I work a 40-hour job as well. In our marriage, we share a majority of the responsibilities. I cook and he cleans the dishes. He bathes the kids and I get them dressed for bed. I do think I am naturally the default parent, but someone has to be. In every situation, you have to have someone take that responsibility.
And just a little side note … I am so over (and I am just as guilty) women complaining of all they do. This was your choice when you had kids! I am over the stay-at-home mom debate versus the working mom debate. We all just do what is best for our family. Neither is better or right. It is what works for you.
To read the article, check out this link. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/the-default-parent_b_6031128.html
Kiss A Cook 