Yesterday I was at a birthday party for a one year old girl. Her brother and my son are in Jackson’s words, best buddies however yesterday they were having some trouble sharing when they started opening up her presents. She was given a Minnie Mouse vacuum cleaner and the three boys around her, brother, cousin and my son, all between ages 18 months and 3 were fighting over this vacuum cleaner. I do think a majority of the reason behind this was because it made cool noises that you heard with just a push of a button but this toy was all the rage. I finally said to my son he did not want to play with it because it was a baby toy and it was a girl toy. (Now disclaimer, I do not care what toys my kids play with. I was mostly trying to get him focused on something else as the smaller kids were enjoying the toy.) My best friend who also keeps my boys in daycare says to me he does not know what the difference in boy and girl toys are. To which I told her, you would be surprised of what this three year old knows. I explained that the cover of my Gender Roles textbook has pictures of a “girl room” covered in pink and Hello Kitty and another picture of a “boy room” covered in blues, trucks and super heroes. I went on to tell her that every time he sees me reading this book he states the “girl room” is for his sister and the “boy room” is for her. He also asked me today as we were talking about coming to the party what kind it would be. I told him I did not know and his answer is it would probably be Barbie, believing in his little brain that Barbies are for girls. It is amazing to me that at three he already knows such things when we have not really taught this at home.
Disney Princesses
If you break down Disney movies, they are filled with negative views for both genders. We are taught a man is supposed to ride in on a horse and save the damsel in distress. We are taught all men are romantic. We are taught the couple lives happily ever after. These common opinions about Disney movies have been around forever. I have had my opinions and because of them have not paraded these movies in front of my children. If they want to watch them great, but they are encouraged to watch other things as well, play outside with the basketball, paint pictures, etc. But then today someone posted an article on Facebook that just sent me through the roof. The title is What Disney Princesses would look like with Realistic Waistlines. Someone went in and redid the waist lines of Pocohontas, Ariel, Jasmine, and Elsa to make them more realistic and you know what, they look great. We live in a world where pretty much every woman I have ever met has or has had some sort of body image issue. When I was in high school I was a size six but my best friend was a four so I thought I was fat. I would kill to be a size six now! I digress, children soak everything in! Just today we were watching the trailer for Fast and the Furious 7, a guilty pleasure of mine. I had seen the beginning of the trailer so I did not think it was a big deal if my three year old boy saw the car racing but then it changed to introducing the bad guy. My three year old says to me, mom he is the bad guy, I am good guy? At THREE YEARS OLD, he can pick out who the good and bad guy are in a movie (and this was not completely evident in the trailer). If my three year old can do that I can absolutely believe my seven year old daughter sees the pictures of the Disney princessess and notices their waist size just like she notices their hair color or eye color. At seven years old she might not think she is less than but I can guarantee those messages she learns now will affect her body image when she is 13 years old. We have got to do something about this. However this is a huge issue. It completely ties in with strip clubs, football players or former coaches endorsing restaurants like Hooters, and photoshopping. Most women do not have a size two waistline with size 42 DD bust. We need to start somewhere and I think it begins with having a strong, independent woman who is a size eight and wears it well.
To read the article please follow this link…http://hellogiggles.com/disney-princesses-look-like-realistic-waistlines
The Back-Up Parent vs. The Default Parent
I read an article a friend posted on Facebook that questioned whether you are the default parent or the back-up parent. At first I thought of my husband and became defensive for him. Often in blended parent situations the father doesn’t get the opportunity to be the default parent. We aren’t around for the spelling words, the shuffling to soccer practice, the lunch makings, etc. So naturally he is the back-up parent. But then I thought about our home. I don’t give him much opportunity to be the default parent either. I don’t think I do this consciously, nor does he. I think these roles are just biologically in us. The female is the nurturer and, typically, the male is the provider. With these roles come natural tendencies and responsibilities. I keep the calendar, I make the lunches, although I typically shuffle the kids from this to that, and I work a 40-hour job as well. In our marriage, we share a majority of the responsibilities. I cook and he cleans the dishes. He bathes the kids and I get them dressed for bed. I do think I am naturally the default parent, but someone has to be. In every situation, you have to have someone take that responsibility.
And just a little side note … I am so over (and I am just as guilty) women complaining of all they do. This was your choice when you had kids! I am over the stay-at-home mom debate versus the working mom debate. We all just do what is best for our family. Neither is better or right. It is what works for you.
To read the article, check out this link. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/the-default-parent_b_6031128.html
Because society said so!
I absolutely love my Gender Roles class, to the point that I find myself wanting to do my school work. However, I feel that what I am learning continues to be the same thing, how society teaches us EVERYTHING. This is not a knock on the class or textbook; it is just what I am learning at this time. Society dictates what we think is “cool.” Society dictates what clothes are in fashion, what music is hip, what food is popular (where did the pretzel bun come from?), etc. So in an effort to have a different discussion I Googled gender and what were the top three hits you ask: gender predictor, gender reveal ideas, and gender neutral names. Gender reveal ideas is another new phenomenon of our society. This new party came about right after the birth of my first son. At first I thought it was really silly, but then as we most do, I conformed with my second son and we had a gender reveal party.
For us it was more of a time to tell our families and friends all at once what we were having than a real focus on the gender party. We were okay with either sex. My daughter was convinced it was a girl and so was I, but it was a second son and we could not be happier with the family God has given us. Sorry, back to the party. There are many really cute ideas out there from making the cake a certain color depending on the gender and t-shirts to a paint fight, busting a piñata, and releasing balloons (which is what we ended up doing). Nowadays people go all out for this party. There are invites, special cupcakes, everyone places a vote, people might dress a certain way, etc. My point is, society tells us this is now what you do. You put this special party together just to reveal the gender of an upcoming childbirth. Is it fun? Absolutely. But in today’s society, especially in the United States, does it really make that much of a difference what the gender is? Are we to the point yet that gender doesn’t really matter anymore? Do little girls have the same opportunities as little boys? According to the last video we watched for this class, a doctor said if the sex is ambiguous, he will always choose male because they will be more successful. Really?!? Is society telling us this so we believe it or is it actually true?
Traditional Gender Roles
If you ask me what a typical gender role is I would think of something like doing the laundry, yard work, cooking, taking care of the cars or caring for children. When my husband and I got married we jokingly agreed he would take care of the outside and I would take care of the inside. However as I have found, there is a lot more work to be done on a regular basis then the yard and the cars (at least in my family, my husband does not work outside daily however we both pick up every day). One of my frustrations, and he knows this, is when I do the laundry, I do everyone’s laundry. This means all five family members. I will ask him to “process” the laundry which to me means move it from the washer to the dryer and then lay it out on the couch in order to be folded and hung up. My husband often dumps it on the couch in a ball and either walks away or folds his. So the other day we went on a date. During our date I brought up the ongoing laundry issue and he asked me to post on facebook how many husbands do laundry and those that do, what do they do. So I did. What did I find? To me it appears the women who had longer marriages that spoke up stated they never declared “gender roles” but they always did whatever needed to be done together. There were a group of men that help out with the laundry but there was also a large group of my friends that did not respond. This leads me to believe it is a all of the above. Some husbands do laundry, some do not, some only do their own, some do it when their wives ask. Personally, in my marriage I would like to see my husband be a little more observant of when I need help and do it on his own. I hope as we grow in our marriage we will fall in the footsteps of marriages before us and just do what needs to be done, not fall in a specific role. But with that being said, I need to help out, outside more. (Right now my husband is working on my car as the door has stopped locking. He is so incredibly intelligent and I am so blessed to have him. Very thankful that he takes the initiative to fix things.) Ultimately we are a great team. And watch out Cook kids because once you turn 8 years old, you will be working on doing your own laundry.
Oh and for the foodies out there that are still reading my blog for awesome food options, if you have not gone to Velvet Taco on West 7th and Montomery in Fort Worth, you are missing out! I have been three times in the last three weeks. It is THAT good. Matt and I went on our date on the night I was discussing laundry. Basically they make traditional plates inside tortillas. For example, a picnic lunch, a cuban sandwich, a burger, hot wings or fish and chips. The night Matt and I went last week we had a mediterranean taco with fried calmari, feta cheese, olive tapenade and a cream sauce. Ah-mazing! We also got the picnic chicken (which I had, had before) and a buffalo chicken. Then last night we went again with some friends and tried a few new ones. I got the fried oyster which had remoulade sauce, corn relish, oh my it was awesome. I scarfed it down so quick, Matt did not even get a taste. After Velvet Taco we went to Tillmans for tableside s’mores. Definitley an ongoing favorite. It is all homemade (chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows). They change them out seasonally and we had java, maple and strawberry. Very tasty. We were stuffed.
Gender Roles
While working on my Master’s Degree in Family Studies, my favorite theory has been the social learning theory. Basically this states we do what we are taught. In our text it explains there is a social learning theory that relates to gender. Essentially it states we believe what we do about gender because of what we are taught. This relates to the roles we fulfill in our relationships and how we define ourselves based on our sex.
If you have paid attention at all to this past week in the NFL, you know several players have been arrested, suspended, and/or indicted. Specifically speaking of the cases of Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson. Now before I continue let me say I COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH HOW THEY TREATED THEIR SPOUSE (in Rice’s case) AND THEIR SON (in Peterson’s case) and if the details of the offenses are true, they deserve in my opinion to be punished accordingly. However, if the social learning theory is true this is such a bigger issue than Ray RIce and Adrian Peterson. It is a systems issue that they were some where along the way taught that is how you treat a child or that is how you treat your spouse. Could it be Ray Rice was taught that is how men handle their business? Could Adrian Peterson have been taught that is the father’s right and responsibility? I think until we as a society change our perception of what is appropriate behavior and model that for our children, more of the sad situations will happen.
Fire or Apron?
I am working on my Master’s Degree in Family Studies from Texas Womans University and this semester I happen to be taking a class called Gender Roles. What is more central and traditional to the female gender role than cooking, right? So I am merging these two topics for at least the next few months: my love for cooking and trying new foods as well as the roles we occupy depending on what sex we were born.
Lobster, Bleu Cheese, Hollandaise sauce and Boring Hamburgers
So it has been another month since I have blogged. Not keeping my promise! I apologize, AGAIN. We just are not eating out very much right now. We did eat at Bistro Louise with our good friends James and Erin Miller a few weeks ago. James and I both ordered the lobster that was on sale for $10.95. My first time to ever eat lobster, a WHOLE lobster, eyes and all! I tried to pretend like I knew what I was doing thinking I have eaten a lot of crab, become pretty good at cracking it myself but this was a whole new ball game. Both James and I had to have the waiter get the meat out for us. Matt and Erin both ordered a hamburger, BORING!! But the best part of the meal for me was the salad. I had a dinner salad with bleu cheese dressing. Easily the best bleu cheese I have ever had and not to toot my own horn but we have eaten at a lot nice steak restauraunts and I always order bleu cheese. It had the perfect amount of tang from the bleu cheese and creaminess from probably the buttermilk, sour cream or mayo used to finish off the dressing.
This morning I made eggs benedict for the first time. It was a great breakfast with homemade hashbrowns, a banana and a cup of peppermint mocha coffee. I learned a lesson though. Make the hollandaise sauce that tops your egg benedict last. When it says in the recipe to serve it immediately, it means it! I did make a few substitutions to make it my own. I did not poach an egg as called for in the recipe because of my love for fried egg and I used a piece of wheat french bread instead of a english muffin. It was very tasty but I had to reheat the sauce and that was probably not optimum because it started to separate. Anyway, until next time, great eating and try something new, not just a boring hamburger!!!
So wow!
It has been over a month since I have last posted. We have started to eat out a little bit less but basically the problem is that I forget to take a picture before I start chowing down. But here is what I will tell you…this morning we ate at Jay Jay’s Cafe while we were waiting for Matt’s car. I had the best egg sandwich I have ever had. It had perfectly cooked eggs, bacon, lettuce and tomato on sourdough. It was delicious! It was under $6. I don’t remember exactly how much. Then last night we went to Prespas with the Eastman’s. They had the normal scrumptious red house dressing and large loaves of bread but I ate the Chicken Sorentino. It was so incredibly good I could not stop eating. It was chicken breast smothered in a pink sherry sauce with mushrooms and scallions on a bed of ziti pasta. The pink sauce is my very favorite thing at an Italian restaurant and this one did not disappoint. So creamy, perfectly seasoned. I very much want to duplicate this sauce. The mushrooms added another level of creaminess in the sauce and were not overpowering at all. It was $10.95 and came with a salad. In fact it was so good, just talking about it is making my mouth water. I think I will go finish off those leftovers (what I forced myself to put in a to-go box). I promise to be a better blogger, happy eating!
In-N-Out Burger (8/23/11)
In-N-Out Burger
Although a little crazy, Matt and I were in and out of In-N-Out Burger (haha!) within 30 minutes. Several great things…
1) They have it down to a science. Huge police presence directing traffic and workers EVERYWHERE.
2) Excellent service.
3) The fries. Crispy on the outside, soft in the middle. To me they are the best part of the meal.
4) The price. Matt and I both ate for $12.23. He ordered the #3, which is a double double, fries and a drink and I had the #2, which is a cheeseburger, fries and a drink. The size of the hamburger is definitely worth the price. I finished my hamburger and did not feel overly full.
Overall it was a great experience. We had to eat outside because two ladies would rather talk after their meal than be observant to the many people standing around them and give up their table. But it was shaded and a little breezy so not too bad. The hamburger was great. I do think the awesomeness of the In-N-Out Burger has been the memories associated with it since it has not been a Texas staple but I think it holds up to it’s greatness and is here to stay.
Kiss A Cook 